Be honest. Don't fake it.

Okay, girls. We've all done it at least once in our lives. Maybe twice, three times? A hundred?

There are lots of excuses, but the two I am most likely to hear - and that I have given myself are:

  1. He's nice and I wanted him to think he succeeded
  2. It sucked so bad, I just wanted him off me.
For number 1, sure it is nice to think of your lover's feelings. You want him/her to think that what they were doing set you off. But, in reality what you are doing is lying to your partner. And yourself. 

Your partner, if he/she likes you would be disappointed to find out that you in fact did not get off. They would much prefer it if you showed them how to get you off.

For number 2 - yeah, been there, wore that t-shirt so many times it was ragged by the time I was done.  I wish I hadn't though. I regret making the guy thinking he was such a stud that he got me off. But the worst thing was what it did to my self-worth. 

I gave in to his command to 'cum' and faked it. Idiot had read too many erotic novels not realizing that kind of command has to be trained and you have to really want to please that individual for it to work.

For me, I did not realize how bad faking it was until I started my path into D/s. For those of you who aren't 'in the know', a good D/s relationship is one of complete honesty. If you fake it, it is about the most dishonest thing you can do. You are lying to your dom and yourself.

As a sub, I cannot imagine being so dishonest.

It is strange, because I have always been basically an honest person except for when it comes to hurting another's feelings - thus why I faked it so many times in the past, even when I wanted to just shove the guy off me and out the door. But now, I recognize how that dishonesty cost me. 

Faking it isn't about being kind to someone else. It is about being unkind to yourself.

The crap I put myself through with the guy who was so bad at sex made it so bad I didn't orgasm for four years and did not date for - are you ready for it? A WHOLE FUCKING DECADE! 

When I decided to get over that and start dating again, it was like being a teenager again. at the age of *cough* you don't need to know that.

Now? I won't fake it again. Ever. I won't do that to myself, or to anyone I partner with. Hell, Paul probably went on thinking he was the best fuck ever. Uhh, NO! I apologize to any woman he was with next. Seriously I do.

So, next time you feel an overwhelming urge to fake an orgasm - DON'T DO IT. Tell him/her that you need more stimulation. Stimulate yourself if you need to and can. But DO NOT FAKE IT. If the person you are with gets pissed because they didn't get you off? It's their problem not yours; a hurt ego you do not have the time or energy to save. You are better than that.

Tell them where they can go and take your ego, grab your closest vibrator or dildo and get off, happy knowing you can.