The words certainly get bandied about don't they? And depending on who you talk to - the definitions might change. So let's get them out of the way.
- a sexual thing that is outside the norm. Of course, then you have to ask yourself. What is the norm? If missionary style is the norm - almost every person on the planet is probably kinky. If my style is norm... well, hell, then missionary style might be kinky. So, what is your kink? Oral sex? Anal sex? Whips? Chains? Doggie Dildos? Threesomes? Foursomes? Orgies? Sex machines? Masturbation parties? No matter what your kink, someone else somewhere is into it too. And, of course - there are a whole lot of people that will gasp in horror at the concept. I love that part. Oh, did I mention... err, never mind.
Fetish - technically it is a sexual response to an object. Such as people who get sexually excited at feet? Panties? Ghosts? Tractors? Trucks? Aliens? Flatulence? Food? Religious icons? And the list goes on. No matter what your fetish is - you are not alone. There are others who get off on it too!
Pervert - A pervert is someone who does something someone else finds disgusting. It is usually nothing more than a put down by people who are probably afraid of their own sexual desires. Of course, then there are the people who gladly take the name Pervert upon themselves. There is a person who is not afraid of their kinks and fetishes.
This is what I go with -
Who the fuck cares? A label is just a label. What it means to you is not necessarily what it means to someone else. Stop caring so much what the proverbial they think. Just go with what you think. Investigate your kinks/fetishes/perversions. As long as it is consensual, it is nobody else's business. Find out what you really like (because I gotta tell you. Reality is so much different than fantasy.)
Ever been spanked? No, I mean really spanked. Your ass turned red by a hand, paddle, slapper (my personal favorite - did I mention I have a little thing for slappers?), flogger, cane... No? Just fantasized about it? Well, you may be missing out. It hurts one HELL of a lot more than you expect, and for someone like me, is a HELL of a lot more pleasurable than I even imagined. Of course then there is the difference between a pleasurable spanking and a punishment one. And I'm getting off topic -I do that a lot;)
The thing is: If you are interested in something, find someone who KNOWS what they are doing and try it! But if your fantasy goes toward being whipped? DO NOT LET JUST ANYONE DO IT! There are places on the body that should never be whipped - PLUS, letting someone whip you who doesn't know what they are doing? Not smart. A skilled whip handler knows how to make it sing, lightly tap or sizzle with heat. A non-skilled whip handler will just rip you up.
And for you fetishists? Find others of your kind! Mingle, try things out. Don't get disappointed or discouraged when others don't share your fetish. You probably don't get off on theirs either. Oh yeah - and don't try to force your fetish on others.
Not cool. Remember - consensual people. And for those who get off on shocking others? Find those who want to be shocked. You walk in front of me and flash me your boobs or cock? I will grab a piece of paper and write a huge 'I've seen better' on it and hold it up. Or I might just laugh my ass off and squeak 'where is it?' - probably not what you were going for. On the other hand, if you want someone non-judgmental to talk to about said fetish/kink, I'm your woman.
Enjoy your kinks, fetishes, perversions. Revel in them. You may find there are some fantasies that belong entirely in the head and go with that. Just enjoy it. We have one body, one mind. Might as well explore ourselves.
It's fun. It's kinky. Oh yeah, and did I mention - It's fucking fantastic to accept who you are and realize you are okay?
Labels: fetish, kink, kinky, label, labels, pervert