You just turned my entire life
You really have to work on your
approach to things. You can't spring it
on a broken
girl that you would like her to give up her whole fucking
life, leaving behind her family and friends, and move across that big ass pond,
to serve your every whim as your 24/7 slave.
That's what the contract said.
The contract that you disguised as
a Christmas present. You, who pretends to be Santa for kids every year at your
toy store, sure have no idea what I wanted for Christmas! I was kidding about
wanting to be on the naughty list!
I was so not expecting it, and I
overreacted, for that I'm truly sorry. And I'm not apologizing because you spanked me. I'm apologizing because you
didn't deserve that, Sir.
I love you and Cynthia, but we
hadn't even talked about anything beyond this visit, Sir. Cynthia looked so
hurt by my reaction, and we both ended up shedding tears together. You were so
angry you had to leave the house for a bit. I ruined our first Christmas, which
may be our only Christmas together, after my behavior.
I flipped out, we all screamed. A
few vases, and I think one plate was shattered. Thankfully the children were
with your parents for the afternoon, so we could have an adult Christmas, I had
no idea how adult it was going to be, nor the childish way it was to end.
I'm not sure I can pack up my life,
and forget those I love and care about. You and your wife are the only people I even know over here, and
how safe or sane is it for me to want to move half-way across the world after
only one, three week visit?
Even after you dealt out my harsh,
yet deserved spanking, we fucked like rabbits, and I'm still having doubts,
Sir. Not about you or Cynthia or us. I'm having doubts about you wanting me—
past this three weeks.
I'm doubting me. Seriously doubting
always find a reason not
to want me, this is why I'm broken.
Not pretty enough, not smart
enough, not sexy enough, or not Emo
enough? Or Perhaps... not Masochistic enough, not a big enough slut, too
slutty, too sexy, and last but not least... too Emo. Seriously I've heard it all, Sir. Pick your poison. Which one of those do I not
fulfill for you, or maybe it's a few options?
You ordered me to write exactly
what I'm feeling, and the the answer's OVERWHELMED!
You pushed too hard, too fast, too
much...I say too much!!
Damn, damn, damn it, Sir. I can't
stop thinking about the end. Six months of us working on our Master-slave
relationship. Six months of you looming over the broken pieces of me, and
putting them back together carefully, and one three-week visit has changed it
all. I want to stop writing right now, and pack up my things, and sneak out in
the middle of the night. I'm not going too, but I want to— You've no idea how
much I want to go, before I ruin both our lives.
I've told you everything! No matter
how much I gave of myself to my past owners, no one has ever loved me
forever. And Sir, you won't either. See
that's the problem, you already have someone you've vowed to love, and I just
can't see you loving us both, forever.
Fucked up, I know...I told you that, Sir. This isn't brand new Maci day. I thought I
was healing, but obviously I was wrong by my reactions today. Maybe I'm just
too broken to be fixed, Sir. I'm just going to end up bringing us all down.
Don't you see how wrong my way of
thinking is, and yes I know it's all part of who I am, but how can you love
those things about me, Sir? I need you to explain this to me, please?
P.S. Up until I opened that gift
this has been the best time I've had in my life, I thought you should know. I
also think you should know, I truly believe you two love me, and I love you as
much as I can love anyone, being as broken
as I am.
I feel like tomorrow maybe we
should discuss this as adults, and maybe sleeping will help to easy my worries
and my mind, and we'll all wake up with a better sense of things.
I keep mentioning three weeks, but
it's only been two, and it's another week till the New Year. You really want me
to stay after today?
You, contract creator— Have you
lost your mind?
You want me to sleep chained to the
foot of your bed at night? Where the hell am I going to go?
I have to ask permission for money?
I'm not a child. This rule is ridiculous.
Oh...you're stirring. Maybe I
should pretend to be a sleep? Nah...brb. I'm going to talk to you.
Dear naughty elf of mine,
You and I just had a very long
discussion, you're now sleeping, and I thought for a change I would write a
little note to you.
You dated, loved, were owned by
serious idiots. Those blokes didn't obviously see the beauty you have inside and
And you don't either— you dumb
It's really not a good thing, baby.
We've talked about the way you doubt yourself, and how it upsets me. I'm going
to have to start punishing you each and every time you show doubt. You will
learn to trust yourself, and trust in yourself.
One day you'll stop blaming
yourself and realize it was them. The sad part is, I think you know it, but you
just want to protect yourself.
Fucking stop it. That's my job.
I told my fucking wife about you
while we were on a family vacation. You would think that would be enough to
show you how much I care, but I didn't stop there. I convinced my wife that
having a conversation with you would make her realize why I love you.
I'll be damned if I wasn't right,
she loved you as much as I did, and still do, both of us still do darling.
You're my princess, and I'm not letting you go that easily. I read what you
said above, but you had to know I wasn't going to just take no for an answer?
We both worked too fucking hard to get here, didn't we?
I knew you weren't asleep yet, I
heard you sniffling. I also knew that you weren't going to sleep if I didn't do
something about it. I good cry and a good cum, should do the trick!
Now...I've busted your ass once
more, turned your already tender and pink bottom into a nice lovely knotted and
bruised surface, and then I made love to you on the soft-fur rug in front of
the fireplace. I left you curled up there to write you this note, but I'm going
back to wrap you in the safety of my arms, and sleep with you for the night.
This isn't our last Christmas, and
you didn't ruin it. You made it the most spectacular Christmas ever. I got to
spank my beautiful slave girl's ass, and I got to fuck the two most beautiful
women. How could that be a ruined Christmas?
And Yes moving here after 2 weeks
is completely insane, and if you had made it to the bottom of the contract, you
would have realized it didn't take effect until exactly 1 year to the date it's
signed. That gives us all time to adjust, and time to fit it to our perspective
roles with one another.
You will need to work less, I will
arrange this, but we have time to discuss it all. I plan to prove to you that
you do deserve to be loved unconditionally, my slave.
I love you Maci. Chipped, slightly
cracked, gently used; I love everything about you, my sweet broken
girl...deal with it.