I am happy to hand over the reins to my blog to today to the amazing +Penelope Jones to talk about the differences between Open and Polyamorous relationships. Take it away, Penny!
I am a commitment phobe! That hasn't changed… however I am still sticking to the standard; I am finding reasons to try rather than ways out of relationships! YAY me!
Anywho, lately, it has been weighing heavily on my mind this topic. A Polyamorous relationship vs an Open relationship? Has fetlife corrupted these two topics and made them interchangeable?
Of course I’m going to give my opinion, and the fact I even have to brooch this topic is just… blah. But then again, maybe I should be thrilled, because five years ago, we would’ve been shunned; now, they have polyamorous people living their lives out on TV!
There’s a huge difference between an open relationship and being Polyamorous or living a Poly life! Open relationships are great, don't get me wrong, but they aren't the same. In an open relationship it is likely that all partners may never meet, and it’s also likely that love will never be involved in the majority of the relationships outside of the primary couple. Open relationships on a normal level usually involve casual hook-ups and/or friendships that have sexual tendencies. This is not what a Polyamorous life is.
Polyamory is described as Loving many or having the capability to love many people, in many different ways. Polyamorous normally doesn't mean casual hook-ups; it does mean love is involved. Partners are normally introduced soon after dating commences. Everyone in the 'family' normally is involved with one another on some level of intimacy. Remember— intimacy doesn't have to mean sex!
I know that is not an easy concept to undertake. Loving someone, being intimate with them, yet not having sex? Well, my leather family has many different levels of intimacy, and it all intermingles with one another to create poly relationships within.
So… now that I have given my definitions of what each of these relationships is or is not; do I think Fetlife may be corrupting these topics, and are they making them interchangeable?
Yes is my short answer, but I don’t think it’s on purpose. I think too many new people have no idea how to express themselves, and it has gotten out of hand! They think it is ultra cool to say I am in a relationship with many partners; IE: Polyamorous relationships, and don't realize that they have no desire to share their love with another man or woman! If you look on Fetlife everyone seems to be Poly these days. Are they really though? Or do they just want an open relationship?
Ugh! This topic just gets me all worked up; there is a huge difference between living a Poly life and being in an open relationship! Maybe someone should teach a class on this subject???
Oh wait—I do; along with a host of other topics that I’ve shared across the country at different leather/bdsm events over the past 15 years.
Now, that Bad Penny has a headache; any volunteers to make it all better? *winks* I’m working on my commitment issues!
If you haven’t gotten enough Bad Penny yet; you can find me here, here, and here!
Thanks for sharing, Penny! And might I just say, if you have not taken a gander at Penny's newest story - The Babysitter Extraordinaire 2, I truly think you should.
Labels: Babysitter extraordinaire, Bad Penny, Fetlife, open relationships, Penelope Jones, polyamorous