Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Bondage with Domitri Xavier and Liv Honeywell

Today I am happy to have Liv Honeywell and Domitri Xavier on my blog, discussing their feelings about Bondage. Take it away Domitri and Liv!


Bondage

Domitri Xavier: 

Bondage and I go back a long way; in fact, far longer than any other aspect of BDSM and even to a time when it would be hard to imagine that there was anything even slightly sexual about it.

There is an article on my blog, The Bonds of Youth; it's just an amusing and anecdotal account of my earliest experiences with a girl called Debs, from when I was no older than seven or eight.  It's an easy read and it might ring bells with some of you...

In between piano practise (music was and is the other love of my life) I spent long periods of my childhood thinking about bondage.  I had a little blue book labelled, GTU; Girls Tied Up.  In it went every movie or episode of a TV series where a girl was placed in distressing bondage, just in case they were ever to appear on screen again.  Remember, we had no YouTube or VCR recorders then; once you'd seen it you had to rely on memory and vivid imagination to recall it.

One of the most frequent entries into the book was a British series called The Avengers with Diana Rigg as Emma Peel (M[an]Appeal!).   Don't forget that these episodes might only be repeated once and certainly never in the same year so I had to write the exact episode in which these scenes appeared with a brief description of the scene.  Writing those used to provide me great excitement and, later, became a real turn on.

Older readers may remember a US spy series called The Man from U.N.C.L.E.  What they called Act III would often find a guest heroine is some awful predicament.  I think this was shown on a Thursday evening here in the UK and I used to rush home from a youth group to which I belonged just to be in time to catch Act III.  And into the book they would go.

I had my own private little game going on (see Bonds of Youth) but this was the only action I ever saw.  Keeping track was important.  Just occasionally - Oh! How occasionally - the TV listings magazines would show a scene from a film or drama with a bound woman.  These were quickly but very carefully removed and put into a little folder I had attached to the book.  My mother used to read cheap fiction with a few colourful drawings here and there.  Again, just very infrequently, there would be a drawing of a bound and gagged woman and these were quickly and expertly removed.  Often to my mother's complete consternation!  Gaping holes would appear in her magazines and she would never know why.  Once, upon close scrutiny from my mother, I told her that there had been a special offer to young stamp collectors.  The stamps never appeared, of course, but I don't think my mother ever noticed.

And then a huge, yawning gap where I considered myself to be a sex maniac - I wrote about that too. But then came the invention of the VCR and my world was a much sunnier place.  I was married to a vanilla woman at the time but sometimes shows would be recorded 'for research' purposes.  Later on at night and films like Witchfinder General could be recorded with only the bits I was particularly interested in.  I made dedicated tapes, one of which would provide almost an hour of selective bondage fun.  Always carefully and shamefully hidden, these did at least give me (and no doubt others, although I didn't know that then) some scenes which might be viewed again and again.  And again...

Later in life I made my first appearances as a Dom/Master.  The word 'Master' was singularly inappropriate, since I knew nothing but pretended otherwise.  By then I was aware that I enjoyed OTK spanking, too, but my skills as a bondage rigger were pathetic in the extreme.  The first real, grown up woman who had the pleasure (!) of being tied by me was in for a hard time.  She was endlessly patient but would either escape her bonds within a few seconds or have her hands turning blue.  Of course it was her fault; she would wriggle too much or not enough or not at all.  I would blame her endlessly and to her eternal credit she almost never complained.  Again, showing off, I tied a submissive at bedtime because she had expressed a wish to be bound through the night.  Time after time I would wake up next to her with her arms completely free and the rope in a tidy coil on the floor.  She was either a modern day Houdini, or I would have to brush up my bondage skills.

And, to my credit, I did.  In those early days, 1998/9, the internet was a big help and people at munches and clubs were often very generous with their time.

What I knew I did not like was Shibari.  It seemed not only very slow to me but also formulaic.  I much preferred random rope placement, especially across the tops of the legs.  Even as I write this now I can still see ropes in that particular position and feel very ardent for them!

Later on I was able to deduce that the act of tying up itself, not just as a means of disablement, could be deeply sensual and erotic.  I remember one time when I started to place a rope across the upper part of the breast; I moved very slowly yet firmly and kissed the submissive on her neck as I did it.  Blowing on her neck or into her ear was another enthusiastically received practice.  Rope placement became increasingly important both to me and the recipient.  My much loved rope applied to the upper thighs, breast bondage (where I learned how to place rope round either side of the nipple), all these things added to the allure.

My techniques have improved no end over the years but one thing has remained constant; the sight of a woman in bondage is an aesthetic as well as a sexual vision.  I still search out the scenes in mainstream media where an actress is tied.  Indeed, there are sites devoted to it.  But with so many sites devoted to beautiful women in tight and sexy bondage also continuing to proliferate, why do we still love to see tiny scenes with Keira Knightley or Uma Thurman?

I suppose because it reminds us of days gone by when women in black and white would be tied to the railroad track or heading perilously toward the saw mill.

Those were the days, my friends, those were the days...
_____

Liv Honeywell:

I read Domitri’s post and was immediately reminded of being very small, around the same age as he was, when I first wondered if perhaps I felt different in some way than other children.

I remember it snowed very heavily one year and there were the usual snow ball fights and games. Then one boy cornered me and threatened to push a snow ball into my face. I remember hesitating and wondering what to do because a part of me realized even then that I liked the feeling of being cornered. I didn’t know why. I had no idea at all what I wanted him to do now he had me, but I definitely liked it. And so, being all of eight years old, I kicked him in the shins and ran off.

These feelings continued and grew as I did. I remember being in school in my very early teens listening as others in my class made jokes about someone being into bondage. I didn’t know what exactly that was at the time but I knew, somehow, that it was something to do with what I was. I remember being embarrassed and ashamed, because if they were laughing so much it must be a terrible thing, and surely I must be the only one in the whole world who wanted it.

I spent years in vanilla relationships always knowing that there was something more that I wanted – needed in fact, but not knowing what it was or how to ask for it.

It wasn’t until I got the internet in 1999 and dared to type ‘bondage’ into a search engine that I realized I wasn’t on my own, that there really were other people out there like me; that I could ask for it, and that if it was with someone who understood, he would not laugh or make me feel ashamed for wanting such things and he would not think I was a freak.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first time someone tied me up. It wasn’t complicated – no shibari, no fancy knots. He simply tied my hands behind my back and my feet together, but that was enough for me to know that it really was everything I’d thought of and dreamed of for so long.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I thought about how to describe bondage for someone who has never tried it, perhaps even for those who don’t understand why someone might want it at all. I started writing a list of how it makes me feel, and here it is: safe, warm, held, controlled, dominated, lacking control, helpless, submissive and spacey.

I love the sensation of different ropes over my skin – from silky soft to rough and just a little scratchy, the knots in ‘interesting places’ that add to the sensations, how amazing a rope corset looks (and makes me feel); the patience it takes to do a long tie, the concentration from the Dom and the slow, erotically charged, intimate connection between Dom and sub to the point where they are almost breathing as one…

Taking it off can be just as much fun - slow, sensual and hypnotic, watching the ropes moving away from your skin, turning and holding your arms up or down as your Dom requires, while his hands stroke your body. Or alternately, taking the rope off quickly, while your Dom catches your skin accidentally on purpose, tickles you and makes you squirm and wriggle and laugh…

It’s an incredibly sensual and erotic experience. It’s fun, it’s arousing and every time is unique.

So I guess I’ve gone from all those years ago of feeling ashamed at school although I wasn’t sure for what, and then later, not knowing what to ask for in my vanilla relationships, to now, here today, where I can happily say that I know what I want, I know I’m submissive and yes, I’m into bondage. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that at all.

About The Journal:

“Come to my study at eight o’clock sharp. Dress for dinner. Wear high heels and put on that dress – you know what I expect of you.”

When the order comes Livia is torn between anticipation and dread.

Does he know? How could he possibly know what she has done? And how can she find the words and the courage to tell him?

As eight o’clock edges ever nearer, Livia waits outside the study door, trembling; uncertain of what she will find when she comes face to face with her Master.

If he knows… If he does, there will be consequences. There is no doubt about that.

What will be the price for her moment of disobedience?

Available via:

Amazon
Amazon UK


Liv’s Bio: 

When not writing about delicious, hot male dominants and the female subs who love them, I’m usually doing something craft-like, reading, baking, eating the results of said baking, and attempting to satisfy the demands of His High and Mighty Dominance (the cat!). My first story, Imagine, was published with Silver Moon Books last year and Coming, Ready or Not is my first solo book. The Journal, co-written with Domitri Xavier, is out now and we are working on Shreds, the next book in the series.

You can follow me on
My blog - http://www.liv-honeywell.com
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/LivHoneywell
Facebook -https://www.facebook.com/LivHoneywellErotica
Goodreads - http://www.goodreads.com/LivHoneywell
My Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/author/livhoneywell

Domitri Xavier’s Bio:

Domitri Xavier is not only an author of erotic fiction and poetry, he also has a parallel career as a pianist and composer. Under another name, he is also a published author of books and poems for children.

He is an active Dom/Master and delights in all that brings; from damsels in distress to always getting his own way in domestic disputes. [If only this were true. Ed]

He has little time for hobbies being one of those extraordinarily fortunate people who makes a modest living by doing the things he loves best. He is an ardent chess player but has yet to record a victory, although he did come close once when he took on an eight year old girl.

He lives and works in the UK.

His poems have been published on Bitten Press’s website - http://www.akissofpoetry.com/211723089 and his first book, The Journal, co-authored with Liv Honeywell, is out now.

You can find Domitri on:
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/DomitriXavierErotica
His Facebook friend page – https://www.facebook.com/domitri.xavier
His blog – http://domitrixavier.wordpress.com
His Goodreads page – http://www.goodreads.com/DomitriXavier
His Amazon page – http://amazon.com/author/domitrixavier

17 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for having us, Thianna :). We had a lot of fun writing that post :)

    Liv

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    1. So happy to have you here today, talking about one of my favorite topics :D

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  2. Thank you from me too, Thianna. This was very cathartic for me. Your post is the first I've done as my true self, without hiding behind the 'Domitri' persona.

    It was a pleasure and thank you again.

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    1. You are welcome! Glad to have you here :)

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  3. Very revealing post! I enjoyed reading it and getting a little bit of insight on the two of you!

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    1. Thank you, Minnie :). I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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  4. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Minnie. I'm glad you were able to gain some insights into us. (Not Trade Secrets I hope!)

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  5. I found this post fascinating. It seems whatever your fetish, it starts early. I myself looked for spanking in books, TV shows and movies. I didn’t write it in a journal but then I was never that organised, then or now LOL Great post guys!

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    1. Awww thank you so much, Constance. It's really interesting and comforting to find that other people were the same. Though if only we'd all known it then! :)

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    2. So true Constance! Some of my most intense fetishes started as a child.

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    3. Thank you so much, Constance. I assure you this is not shameless self promotion but if you look again at my Bonds of Youth article, a link to which you will find in the body of my above post. Thank you again for taking the time to comment.

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  6. What a fantastic and bravely candid post. I was reading something on Fetlife recently where people talked about the same kind of childhood feelings. You've both expressed it so vividly.

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    1. Thank you so much for that, Tilly :). That's a lovely thing to say :)

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    2. Thank you so much, Tilly. Please try to read an article I wrote called Bonds of Youth - you'll find a link in my post above. The only reason I'm trying to get people to read this is because it's my own story and I do wonder how many others would have had similar feelings at a very young age. It's so kind of you to comment. Thank you again.

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  7. YES! I meant to purchase this previously and got caught up in .... well, life. But I have it now and can't wait to read it!
    I think the way this was written will prove extremely rewarding for the reader! I am excited, to say the least ;)
    I look forward to the journey these two will be going on in the future as well :)

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    1. Jennifer, thank you. I do hope you enjoy the book. You might like to know that Liv and I are in the midst of writing the second in the series, Shreds, due out by the middle/end of October. Bless you, Jennifer and I do hope you find the book rewarding.

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    2. Ooh thank you so much, Jennifer :D. I really hope you enjoy the book :).

      Yes, Shreds is already proving very intense. It's so much fun to write :).

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