Feminism & Spanking
You know. When I signed up for this round table
on Feminism and Spanking, I was all
"Cool! I have to get involved with this." And then I sat down to
write, expecting inspiration to hit.
Until I finally had to accept this wasn't coming as easily
as I expected.
I even wrote a post that I hated and set it to bed on
Wednesday night, not liking the post and thinking it sounded stupid. Then,
bright and early (Too bright and early) Thursday morning a new thought came to
me. Now, several hours later, let me see if I can get it down.
What Feminism Robbed, Spanking Can Repay
What do I mean by that? I was raised to think every female
has three parts to her:
*The Little Girl (TLG)
*The Lady (TL)
*The Woman (TW)
So, supposedly TLG + TL + TW = Whole Female
Over time, I have come to realize there was a major part
missing from that equation. I added The Sex Kitten (TSK) and now TLG + TL + TW
+ TSK sounds a lot more complete to me. If we work with all four sides of us,
we can get into perfect alignment with the person we are. And if we do that,
there is joy, there is safety, there is security, there is adventure, there is femininity, and there
There is a huge problem, though.
I can only speak from a Western POV, but in the US, what is
expected of women is a rather dire equation: First off, you must leave The
behind once you 'grow up'. And to make a difference in this world,
drop The Lady
too because being polite and expecting respect won't get you anywhere. And The Sex Kitten
? They prefer not to even notice her, or
to call her names like 'cunt' and 'slut', thus damaging her belief in herself.
After all, it is The Woman
who goes out, conquers, battles men, becomes LIKE a
man, and lives up to the Feminist Ideal.
I understand that the Women's Movement had some good points.
We do deserve the right to vote. We do deserve equal pay for equal job. We do
deserve the right to work anywhere we damn well want. But that is only 1/4 of
who we are. So where does that leave the rest of us?
The Little Girl
is long forgot. She might try to gain our
attention from time to time, either by trying to have fun; or, when we are
particularly dense, by throwing a bloody-ass fit. Quite honestly, she doesn't
care how she gets our attention, as long as she gets it. (Mine loves to put in jokes a 12 year old would make.)
has forgotten what it means to be a lady. Men are
growled at when their gentleman dares to open a door for us. We sit slovenly,
dress like men, and yes, we even drink, smoke, and swear like them too. She has
stopped reminding us to cross our ankles, sit correctly at the dinner table,
and worst of all, she has stopped reminding us to expect to be treated like a
lady because Feminism has turned that into a 'put-down'.
The Sex Kitten
may have never even gotten the chance in the first
place. So many conflicting ideas about sex abound. I am not talking about the
teenagers who have sex just because they can – that is not taking control of
your sexuality. The Sex Kitten
understands all parts and sees sex as
a part of herself, investigates what might interest her, tosses out what she
does not like, and embraces the rest with a passion. Only problem is? The Sex
became a slut. No, I am not talking literally. How often do we hear
people sneer at a woman who is sexily dressed and when she 'gets ahead' they
make the comment that she used sex to get her there. The Sex Kitten
has most likely hid her head;
in some women so badly that these ladies have NEVER had an orgasm. That whole
concept horrifies me. Life without an orgasm daily just cannot be a life worth
living. There is of course, the other side of The Sex Kitten
who has decided
she will be noticed no matter what, and she takes the destructive road with her
And then we have The Woman
. She is the epitome of Feminism.
She can leap tall buildings in a single bound while birthing 2.4 children,
cooking dinner, becoming president of the country, and helping orphans in some
foreign country because of course, she is invincible. Right? Wrong! Without the
other three to help her, she is tired, stressed, non-orgasmic, unhealthy,
angry, and spending her life trying to be equal to a man.
I hate the whole concept of equality when it comes to that.
I am not equal to anyone. I am myself. If there are two people in a
relationship, for it to work, they both need to be equally determined that it
will work, but that, to me, is where equality ends.
Have you ever observed women in the workplace? The 'bosses'?
I have worked for both men and women and overall, I would vote to work for a man
a million times before I had to work for a woman again. Why? For one simple
reason. Women were not raised to be boss.
As much as that might grind against the politically correct,
it is true. Of all the women bosses I had, only one was decent. The others?
Were bitches, totally and utterly impossible to work for. Now, one could argue
that is the problem of the society in which we are raised. My response would
be, is it? Or is there an intrinsic difference between men and women that we do
not want to admit to?
Looking back, I look at them and see something different.
They were The Woman
. Only. The work was all they cared about, working sixteen-hour
days, bossing everyone around, unwilling to trust anyone because they figured
if they didn't do it, it wouldn't get done right.
They needed to get back in touch with The Little Girl
, and The Sex Kitten
So, how do we do that? Distancing ourselves from Feminism
doesn't quite seem right, because I think we would all still agree there are
things we should have the right to. But we need a way to bring all four of the
parts that make us together. And how do we do that?
Now, before you laugh, hear me out. Being spanked is a
unique event. For anyone who has been spanked as an adult, it brings in a whole
bunch of emotions that up until that time you might have not realized you had.
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Little Girl
Example: You lied to your partner. It was just a white lie,
it didn't mean anything, right? Except for the fact you feel guilty as hell.
You and your partner have discussed and discussed this kind of thing into
infinity and finally decide you'll try discipline. You scoff a bit at the
over-the-knee spanking when you are told to bend over their knee, and as you
are told to unbutton your slacks and remove them or to lift up your skirt, you
suddenly begin to feel less like an adult and more like the little kid who was
caught in a lie. You beg for leniency, you might cry to try and get out of it.
You definitely cry as those smacks rain hard down upon your ass. But then something marvelously amazing
happens. The guilt within you bursts and you stop crying from the pain and you begin
to cry out your emotion. The spanking stops, but your tears continue. As your
crying slows, you realize the guilt is gone and that for some strange reason,
you feel safe and peaceful. Your partner lifts you up, sits you on their lap
and holds you tight, letting you feel their love and warmth. In that moment, The
smiles and curls up into the loving arms that hold her. In that
moment, she is free and hopefully you embrace her and keep her free. If not, she
has now found a great way to break free and you may find yourself getting an
OTK spanking more often than not.
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Lady
Example: You've been spanked and you don't necessarily
understand why you are grinning like a loon as an hour later you are out having
dinner with friends and every time you move, you are physically reminded of
what happened. You feel closer to your partner than you have in a long time.
When he opens a door for you, instead of being miffed, The Lady
thanks him, and finds a great satisfaction in being treated so well. She begins
to recognize that it is far easier to bait her partner with honey than it is to
fight him. The Lady
also notices that her man's gentleman makes more
appearances, making her feel cared for, loved, and he responds to that part of
her. As she expects to be treated with respect, she will find he does so
So, how does a Spanking bring back The Sex Kitten
Does it need to be said? There is a unique energy exchange
that happens in a consensual spanking. If it hurt like hell, or if it was an
erotic spanking, The Sex Kitten
begins to notice how her companion reacts to
having spanked her. A spanking can make you feel very sexy, even as your ass is
blazing a fire-engine red. When you begin to feel sexy, you begin to act sexy,
dress sexy, and continually send out sexual signals to your partner.
So, now what? Well, you have now brought back the three
parts of you that were missing. And as you have added spanking as an activity
you do often, they stick around and The Woman
begins to notice some changes.
Less stress, more smiling, more laughter, more delegating at work, and probably
a MUCH better sex life. Soon, she begins to listen to her other parts and finds
that The Little Girl
has some great creative ideas that work well even in her
work life and that letting The Lady
out has actually built better relations
with those around her as well as helped her to feel better about herself. And as far as The Sex Kitten
Let's revisit. How can spanking balance out what Feminism robbed from us? By realigning the four parts of us, sections of each of us that should be
listened to, allowed out to play, and given voice.
So next time you are feeling off, ask yourself – Are the
four parts of me aligned? Or is one part needing some attention? If so? Ask for
a spanking (it is up to you how you ask for it) and let that part free.
Welcome back to this world The Little Girl, The Lady, The Woman, and The Sex Kitten. May you forever wave your flag...and if it faulters? Just remember, a Spanking does wonders. *wink*
Now, go on and check out more posts on Feminism and Spanking...
Labels: alignment, feminism, round table, spanking, The Lady, The Little Girl, The Sex Kitten, The Woman