Hey, Santa! Wanted to wish you a happy and safe Xmas eve ride! Yeah, I know its a few days early, but figured I would get my wish in before the clock struck twelve...so to speak.
Oh, and Santa? Clock's ticking on that item, you know! No, no, if you want to go on another Caribbean vacation come January, don't forget!
Of course I'm not threatening you, Santa. I'm just explaining that if you don't deliver said gift, I might be so distraught that I will forget to label the limoncello as Reindeer meds. And you know how the Mrs. feels about liquor.
No! No! Last year wasn't on purpose because you didn't deliver the season's hottest toy - I didn't really want one anyway. It was an honest mistake! Promise.
Well, yeah, *snicker* Lime'n'Jello was kind of funny.
Oh...wow, just how crazy did she get? Really? Holy cow! I had no idea Mrs. C could get so down and dirty! Is that why you had to wear the brace for the first part of your vacation?
Oh, okay, TMI, Santa! *cough* Oh, look at the time. I really have to go. Have a book coming out soon, you know.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Wow, candy canes can be used for all sorts of things. Good to know. No, no! I do not want to know about the tinsel. No. Santa! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That's just wrong. I'll never be able to look at Mrs. C and Prancer ever again without thinking of that story. Thanks, alot!
*covers ears and mumbles* Once you get Santa going, he has some pretty kinky stories. Nobody would ever believe them.
What? No, I wasn't saying anything. Promise. Look, see? You can see the halo above my head. What do you mean, what halo? The one held up by the horns! Sheesh!
Okay, I know its your busiest time of the year what with finishing all the gifts and *cough* Preparing my gift for delivery. So I will let you get back to the fun and frolic.
Happy Christmas, Santa...I saw this on Facebook and thought you might find it funny. Enjoy! Just DON'T show Mrs. C. She'll never let me visit again.
Oh, come on, I know you thought that was funny. I can hear you "Ho Ho Ho"ing from here.
Labels: gift, humor, limoncello, Santa, Santa Claus, Santa Letter