Hey, ladies and gents...or whatever you wish to call yourselves. (This article is written tongue-in-cheek...which hurts when you bite down. Just sayin'.)
How do you choose to buy an ebook? I'm hoping the words "by the cover" did not just jump out of your mouth. I may have to shake my head and my finger at you. Yep...it might go that far.
Now, for those that did unfortunately say "by the cover", let me ask you this? Were you surprised, shocked, disappointed at, or otherwise surprised at the content? Oh, and let me insert a DUH in here, just because I can.
Too many times authors of spanking novels end up with reviews like the following:
I loved the book! It was so good. The romance between [Character A] and [Character B] was so entrancing and the ending made me weep. But I'm giving the book only 3 stars because there was too much spanking.
Okay, now, we take a look at the description of said book and OH LOOK! Spanking is mentioned no less than fourteen times. (Okay, so maybe not 14, but lets face it, spanking authors tend to be very honest about what you are going to find). Look for phrases like "taken in hand" or "turning her cheeks a nice rosy pink" or the more blatant "there is spanking in this novella".
So, should a book be held at fault because the reader refused to read the blurb? No. No. and No. So, let me talk you through How to Peruse an eBook Aisle.
Remember the days of actually walking into a bookstore and looking through the aisles? Come on, think back to two, maybe three years ago. Remember now? Great! Now, you were looking through the massive amount of books and a cover catches your eye. Oooh, gorgeous hunk of man who you can hear saying "Can you believe it's not butter" and a heroine who is almost bare breasted and bent over his arm backwards. The hook has been taken. What do you do? Take it to the register now and run home to read it? Not probable. After all, that's hard-earned money and if you don't like it you'll have to come alllllll the way back to the bookstore and look a sales associate in the face and give them a baldface lie about how you bought the wrong book even though the binding is now cracked and there are odd stains on the interior pages... (Oh, I guess I should mention I've worked in bookstores before. I've seen it all, folks.)
So what's the next step? Oh, yeah! You turn the cover over and read the blurb on the back. Once you've read that, depending on whether you've read the author before, you may read the first chapter or so to see if you really want to spend your money before going to the register and hoping nobody is watching you buy the book with the half-naked guy on the front who looks awful familiar. They must be wondering if they've seen him anywhere before...like in a commercial maybe?
So, you read the blurb. If it sounds good, you may be off to the register, or like I said, read the first chapter where at the end he's got his hand in her *BLEEP* and she's moaning out words like *BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP* and you know you have to buy it now so you can find out what the BLEEP happens next. Right?
Well, guess what? It's the same way with an eBook folks! Each book has a blurb, aka, the DESCRIPTION where you can read what the book is about. And if it sounds good, then you can download a sample to most books - on Amazon I think its to all of them. So you can download your newest dirty book to your eReader and read 20% for free...and then you make a decision. Is the book good enough for $1.99, $2.99, $3.99, $9.99? If so, you buy it and enjoy the rest of the steaminess. If not? You delete the sample and go back in search of a new book.
That wasn't hard, now was it? Now, that doesn't mean that you won't read through a book and not be the happiest with it, but if you have read the blurb, you should know what to expect from the book. And if the book delivers what the blurb says? Think about it, folks.
And if you are still buying books after this without reading the blurb? I'll borrow one of Jeff Foxworthy's Stupid signs and hand it over.
Now, for the fun part of this little vignette. I may have found my new favorite author. Another friend liked her page on Facebook and my eye was caught by...yes, one of her book covers. It was called Size Matters and I thought, well, yes it does, so I clicked and found the book on Amazon. After reading the blurb and downloading a sample, I was hooked. Yep. Hooked. I haven't even finished the first book yet and I've already downloaded two more of hers. Who is she? Robyn Peterman. Enjoy tongue-in-cheek chicklit with gorgeous hung men and a main character who gets herself into the most unlikely of places? Yep, check out her books. I'm a fan. And hey, if you friend her on facebook, tell her I sent you. You know...because she won't have any clue as to who I am and I love to keep people guessing ;)
Do I need to mention - READ the description first? Hmmmmmmm?
Labels: buying an ebook, complaint, diatribe, favorite author, humor, Robyn Peterman, soliloquy